Leaving toddlerhood behind

My baby turns 3 in less than a month. Can I even call him my baby anymore? He is so far from being a baby, I know, but he is the only one I’ve got!

Jack is the same kid he has always been – bright and shiny and creative. Funny and sweet and stubborn. As he gets older he just developes these traits more and more. I never realized before he came into my life that parenthood is its own kind of love story. I loved that little guy immediately but that love deepened, evolved, and continues to surprise me with how profoundly it affects my life. My existence is intricately tied to Jack and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Jack is rapidly leaving toddlerhood behind. While this is great, it is also a little sad. His carefree attitude is starting to fade a bit. He now has nightmares about the things he used to love (spiders, monsters, dragons) and has developed a fear of the dark. He is more aware of illness and aches now; although he skinned his hand a few weeks ago, he still insists on wearing a bandaid. He is now less adventurous about trying new foods, as well. He was never especially good about it but we could get around it by placing a bit of food on his lips where he had to lick it off. Now he runs off yelling if we try to do that!

The boy has a pretty good sense of order now. He stayed the night with his dad this past weekend because I knew he wouldn’t be okay with Aunt Holly and Cousin Sabrina sleeping in HIS bed. And no way would he consent to sleeping in our bedroom! His dinner must be eaten in a particular place, his “sleeping blanket” (which he also calls his sheep – aka sheet) is the only thing he will sleep with, and if he holds the rail while going up the stairs everyone else has to! He declares that I am HIS mom when I pick him up from daycare and he doesn’t like it when I hold other kids. It’s a good thing I don’t have a second right now!

Although he is possessive of me and his things, he is also much happier these days to go between his two homes. It helps a lot that we have a steadier schedule and instead of four trips back and forth a week, it is only 2. As everyone knows, toddlers like consistency and routine.

I am working on planning Jack’s third birthday party. I am thinking of doing a rocket theme seeing as that is what his main focus is these days. He still LOVES George but we did that last year. I can just see the look on his face when he sees a big rocket on his cake. So much fun!

He’s at it again!

Jack has been drawing again! I love watching him draw. He didn’t pick up his magnedoodle for a few months and I worried that he didn’t like drawing anymore. When he picked it back up his drawings got even more amazing!

Rocket

And here is a video of him drawing a “bad guy.”

Titles

I have a new title.  Not only am I a divorced, working, blogging mother but I am also now a student.  And, as if that wasn’t enough, I’ve added on another job title at work, which means I’m working two jobs in my 40 hour work week.  I decided it was time to make some changes and, well, I tend to do these things all at once.  I’m impatient like that.

I’m getting my degree through the University of Phoenix.  They have a program that works for people who can’t afford to leave their jobs to go to school and have very little time to actually attend school in a classroom.  (Also, I detest the classroom.  I am terrible at following along with lectures.)  The program is entirely online and so far it’s working out pretty well for me.  The best part is that my employer will reimburse me for about 75% of the costs!

I haven’t taken any classes in about six years, so this is a bit of a transition for me.  Still, I’m settling in and so far school work is not interfering with my home life much other than making me a little extra tired.  I’m thankful that Jack is fairly low maintenance at this age (at least compared to the baby days) and generally allows me a decent night’s sleep, otherwise I doubt I could do this.  There is still some worry that I may be putting my own needs ahead of my son’s, but I also know that my education can have a very positive impact on Jack, as well.  I am hoping the good influence outweighs the small amount of time school takes away from my time with Jack.

Rocket Ride

I finally caught Jack on camera with his imagination running rampant. Now you can experience the rocket obsession for yourself!

Rocket Ride

No Embarrassment

When we left the house this morning Jack was carrying a broken crab toy (last night’s bedmate), his magnedoodle (he is drawing again!), and a rammekin full of honey nut cheerios.  He was happy as can be wearing a Superman costume shirt under a red and black plaid jacket, with David’s bike helmet turned backward on his head so that the piece that normally braces the back of the head became a mask through which he breathed loudly a la Darth Vader.  He looked very “special,” especially considering that his hair stuck up out of the slits in the bike helmet.

My kid is awesome.  I love this stage where he has no self-consciousness.  I know it is too short a time in a person’s life and I rue the day it starts to fade (although I am still not embarrassed to goof off publicly…).

Unbelievable!

I was having issues trying to get Jack to go to sleep.  We would read our bedtime stories (three books usually) and lay down and snuggle and then he would climb all over me or kick me or hit me or whatever until either he fell asleep or I lost patience completely.  A few nights ago, after about an hour of trying to get him to go to sleep, he decided to up the ante and started stripping…I left the room and hid in the dark dining room, head in my hands, shaking with anger while listening to Jack yell for me.  David stepped in and distracted Jack, diapered and clothed him, and got him in bed.  Jack asked for me so he told him to wait there and he would get mama, then he walked out.

Here’s the unbelievable part – Jack fell asleep almost immediately.  I didn’t go into the room.  Yesterday was a similar situation – after an hour of trying to get him to sleep and fed up with being treated as a bounce house, I left the room and grudgingly asked David for help (yeah…it’s hard for me to ask for help).  He repeated his previous experiment – went in and got Jack to lay down, told him to wait for mama and walked out, closing the door behind him – and Jack fell asleep without a peep.

Tonight we changed it up.  I gave in to the awesomeness that is ‘David the natural step-parent’ and on his suggestion, I read to Jack and got him to lay down, told him I’d be back in a bit and to wait for me, then left the room.  I fluttered around outside the door for a bit waiting for him to call or cry.  I didn’t even hear a peep.  He fell asleep without making a sound.  When I looked at David he had a huge grin on his face and I guarantee he was thinking, “Yeah, I am so rocking this step parenting thing!”

I’m in awe of both the males in my house.

Grateful for imagination

Jack was not happy about getting up this morning.  From the moment he opened his eyes he was upset.  “We have to close the door!  We have to go to sleep!”  I wish, kid!  He spent the next 45 minutes or so yelling at the top of his lungs because he didn’t want to get dressed, didn’t want to watch George, dropped his piece of friendship bread, and then OMG my chocolate egg is broken and I wanted to crack it open but now I can’t!!!  Yeah, you can see how I tried to use bribery when all else failed.  And even the bribery didn’t work.

What did?  A SPACE HELMET.  I told Jack that if he got dressed he could wear the space helmet (David’s bicycle helmet) and we could go to outer space.  He changed his attitude immediately.  We got out of the door within 10 minutes.  I convinced him my car was my spaceship and we were going to take off!  He counted down to lift off at every stop sign.  He was smiling by the time we got to daycare.  I then told him he needed to find some rockets and teach his fellow astronauts about space.  Off he went to look for rockets among the daycare toys!

I lied to my kid - a huge, bald-faced, complete lie.  And I will do it again and again if it gets him out of the house in the morning and saves my sanity.

A story from Jack

There is a car and it goes into the street.
When the car goes faster it goes FASTFASTFASTFAST in the road.
And when the rocket goes up it goes way high up.
When the car goes down and crashes it turns into a dragon.
AND THEN YOU TURN INTO A SPACE RANGER!!!
And the space ranger says “and beyond!”

And the winner is…

Commenter #4

 

Zen Mama!

Not always sunshine and lollipops

Jack slept terribly last night perhaps due to nightmares?  It’s hard to say but he cried out in his sleep without actually waking up.  I stumbled to his room and lay down with him for a bit and he was fine.  Who knows, maybe he was just cold (he refuses to sleep with a blanket).

This morning, he woke up cranky as heck.  He yelled for me at the top of his lungs (getting louder the longer I took to drag myself out of bed).  When I went into his room, he told me he needed to snuggle and take a nap.  I told him it was time to get up and he started crying (well, more like whining as there were no real tears).  He walked over to his bedroom door and tried to shut it several times, slamming it against the frame because he neglected to turn the knob.  When I helped him out he was upset and made me open it again so he could do it.  Then he decided he DIDN’T want it closed – instead he wanted to look for his rocket in the dining room.  He cried that he didn’t want to stand in front of the heater to get warm when I huddled next to it and even went so far as to insist that I take my sweatshirt off (crying when I refused).  I was able to get a shirt and socks on him, but then he didn’t want to wear “that diaper” and would not wear shoes or sandals.  Furthermore, he got upset when my cell phone was referred to something other than a spaceship, did not and then DID want friendship bread, didn’t want to go outside or to daycare this morning, freaked about not having his cup of milk on the way to daycare and then asked over and over again where his friendship bread went (”Dude, you ate it!  It went into your belly!”)…this all in the span of about 45 minutes.

Needless to say, it’s days like this that make me insanely happy that I work.  Now if I just had a sleeping bag with me…

Last day to win Ecostore Gift Certificate!

This is the last day to leave a comment at this post to win a gift certificate to Ecostore USA.  I will choose the winner at random tomorrow morning!

Nearly Three

Wow, I can’t believe Jack is almost 3.  Is he even still a toddler or is he now considered a preschooler?  Holy crap, where did the time go?  I am suddenly so aware of the fact that he is growing up quickly and even though I love the stage he is in, I also miss my baby!  (This is how it starts, isn’t it??)

Here are some notes on Jack at 2.75 years:

• His favorite foods are Babybel cheese rounds (”little red cheese”), Fuji apples (whole, not cut or peeled), almonds, “cupcakes” (usually banana muffins), and chocolate.  He loves to peel things – the wax off the cheese, the shell off an egg, the skin on an orange (although he doesn’t eat the orange).  He even throws wrappers and peels away.
• He can count to at least 13 forward and backward, can identify many letters and all colors, and knows right from left.  Also, he has learned where Canada, the United States, and Mexico are on a globe (no joke).
• He likes three books to be read to him before bed: Olivia and the Missing Toy, Olivia (original), and The Way Back Home (in that order).  Sometimes we will add A Color of His Own or How Does a Dinosaur Say Goodnight?
• He is a favorite at daycare because he is super sweet, funny and quirky, and he always naps and eats and follows the rules.  For whatever reason, he doesn’t have bad days at daycare.  Also, everyone is his best friend.
• He loves rockets, space, and astronauts.  He will watch any movie with space related things in it – Star Wars, Toy Story (Buzz is his favorite, of course), Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
• His imagination is growing rapidly.  We had a discussion about what day it was and I cracked up when he said “no, it’s not Wednesday, it’s Mensday!”  He then went on to name many days that I have never heard of.  He also tells stories.  They usually begin with what happened at daycare and then get progressively unbelievable when he makes up new kids that were there or tells us he went to outer space.  And, of course, everything is a rocket from pens to carrots.
• He spreads love all around.  Hugs and kisses and I miss yous and I love yous.  He asks for snuggles with me in the morning and throws his arm around “my cat Wicket, my best friend.”
• His favorite song is No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.  Any time I try to sing anything else, he cuts me off to tell me “I don’t like that song!”
• Physically he is much more agile than he was just a few months ago.  He is a better runner, is starting to figure out how to catch himself if he trips, and in his quest to grab things out of his reach (as in light switches) he has learned to use various pieces of furniture as stepping stools.  Oh joy.
• He is pretty independent.  He insists on getting the things he wants out of the fridge, takes off his own shoes and puts them away, climbs into his carseat and walks up/down the stairs while holding on to the railing.  He of course gets frustrated when he can’t do something, like when someone beats him to opening or closing a door.
• He sleeps well most nights.  More often than not, he sleeps through a whole 10 hours and still takes 2+ hour naps.  Can we breathe a sigh of relief?  ahhhhhhh.

There is so much more…I wish I could capture it all.  I am just lucky that I get to witness it all first hand most days. 

Happy Spring!

Egg painting

Click to go to Jack’s shutterfly album and see more pictures of our fun!

Product Review: Ecostore USA Bath Products

I recently got a chance to try some new-to-the-US bath products and wanted to share my thoughts here for anyone else looking for something eco-friendly, animal-friendly, and chemical-free.  Ecostore USA makes bath and body products for babies, adults, and pets, as well as household cleaning agents.  They got their start in New Zealand 20 years ago and are now entering the US market through internet orders and Meijer stores.

For Jack I got the Baby Shampoo and Baby Body Wash.  I’ve been searching for some bath products that would work with his dry, sensitive skin.  Even at almost 3 he still has issues with “cradle cap.”  Luckily he has a ton of hair to cover it up but we have tried Johnson & Johnson, Method, and DHC products and none of them has made an impact on his scalp.  We tried the Ecostore baby shampoo this weekend and I totally fell in love.  It was extremely easy to rinse out (which is awesome because Jack has absolutely no patience for having his head rinsed) because it it not overly sudsy and sticky.  His fine hair was soft and shiny when it dried and there was a huge improvement in the dryness of his scalp.

I also got the Manuka Sandalwood Shampoo, which is marketed as helpful for dry, flakey scalps.  David and I both have dry skin issues and have difficulty finding products that don’t strip our natural oils or cause the opposite problem – greasy hair – so in my neverending pursuit to find a product that is just right, I decided to try this one.  Again, I totally love this product.  It doesn’t dry out my hair or cause crazy amounts of frizz (yet there is still body!) after using the shampoo.  The smell is divine and great for both genders.  I like the fact that a little bit goes a long way and the shampoo suds up, unlike some other organic products that I have used.  Even with the suds, it is not difficult to rinse out.

And now it’s contest time!  If you would like to win a $25 gift certificate to the Ecostore website, please leave a comment by Friday, April 17, and I will pick a name at random!

Also of note: Ecostore is offering free shipping on all orders over $25 for the month of April in celebration of earth month.

The Making of a Step-Family

Jack’s daycare is closed this week for spring break.  Since David is still job hunting (applying for the few and far between jobs that come available – arg, the economy surely sucks!), Jack is at home with him.  David has watched Jack by himself for a few hours at a time upon occasion and has helped with day-to-day care of Jack but this is the first time he’s had extended sole responsibility of the boy.  And you know what?  He is doing a fantastic job!

I’m not that surprised.  David is a natural with kids and also extremely observant.  He has absorbed a lot about how I parent just by watching and living with me and Jack.  He has integrated into the step-father role with a larger amount of ease than I thought was possible.  This just makes me love him that much more!

Monday went even more smoothly than I had anticipated.  Not only did Jack have *fun* with David, but he ate really well, played at the park, and even took a two hour nap!  David is proud of himself and with good reason – getting a toddler to nap is not usually an easy feat and two hours of sleep?  That is pure perfection.

I am truly enthralled watching the step-parenting transition happen and the bond grow between David and Jack.  Parenting with blood relatives is fairly straight-forward as you have the obvious ties and social norms to rely on.  Joe and I had some things to negotiate between the two of us in our parenting partnership, but our responsibilities toward Jack were pretty simple to determine.  The step-parent integration seems more complex, as it generally takes place over less time and the dynamics aren’t always readily apparent or accepted.  Rejection can come from the child, the mother, the father, or the person doing the step-parenting.  David has had to consider everything he does with Jack from the perspective of Jack, of me, and of Joe.  He has been very careful not to step on any toes while at the same time interacting with Jack in a manner that would get them on the right path to a symbiotic step-parent/-child relationship.  His methods have paid off, it seems.  I’m sure there will be challenges that aren’t resolved easily in the future, but it is good to know we have some success to build upon.