Things are looking up

Jack has finally showed improvement today! He woke up with breathing issues but it seems that as long as we keep his temperature down with constant tylenol doses and keep him upright as much as possible, his breathing isn’t too terrible. His cough is still pretty bad and I am still giving him frequent 1 minute feedings (tried to go for 2 minutes this morning and a coughing fit right afterward made him spew it all). I am trying not to worry about how the nursing is going because he is having the right number of diapers. Once the coughing subsides I hope we can go back to normal.

So, I think he’ll be good to fly tomorrow evening. I just have to hope that the flight doesn’t screw with him even more by giving him another cold to fight off. Please, no more illness!

ER Revisited

Fuck, this sucks. Went back to the ER today because Jack was puking every single thing up – meds and food – after coughing plus had a harder time breathing and was experiencing mild retractions between his ribs. Got there and he was running a fever and his heartbeat was higher than normal. He was given a tylenol suppository and monitored to see if his breathing recovered a bit. He was doing better after the tylenol and he was able to keep food down when I gave him small amounts (basically, I can only let him eat at the breast for a minute at a time and I’m feeding him every 20-30 minutes). I am also throwing in some pedialyte since he is not having many wet diapers (only 3 today). He has lost weight, as well (9 ounces in the past day, and around a pound since this started). I am so worried that this feeding method is going to mess up our nursing relationship (since I have to unlatch him before he is done eating) but I guess I have to go with it so that he can keep the food down. I am thankful that he was so hearty and healthy before because otherwise I’m sure he would be even worse. He has smiled a few times today, at least.

We rescheduled our flight for Sunday night since we should see some improvement by then and flying might not be so hard on Jack. The worst part of this virus is supposed to last 2-3 days and the ER docs were pretty certain that yesterday and today were the worst of it. I am crossing my fingers and not letting the little guy out of my sight until he is breathing better.

This whole thing has been pretty scary and stressful for me. I am relieved that he is doing well enough to hang out at his grandma’s but it would almost be better if he were in the hospital being monitored. Sometimes doing research on this stuff is not the best plan because now I’m hyper sensitive to all of the things that could go wrong.

Slightly recovered

Jack is doing a bit better now that the meds are in his system. Unfortunately the nasty cough keeps causing him to throw up. At least he is eating and able to keep things down most of the time. He is not the happy little guy he usually is, though. He is not smiling anymore; he just sleeps, coughs, throws up, and cries. It breaks my heart.

We’re going to see about changing our flight to leave tomorrow or Sunday. We want to give the little guy time to recover a bit more before getting on a plane.

No vacation is complete without a trip to the ER

We took Jack to the ER today because he is getting worse. He is not eating properly and has too few of diapers (although the ER doc said that he is hydrated). They took xrays and tested him for flu and RSV. Turns out he has RSV and that has caused an infection called bronchiolitis. We got some meds for him (a steroid and something to help with the congestion) but they are just to ease the symptoms. He has to ride this out. At the hospital he actually wasn’t horribly sick but he has been sleeping since we got home two hours ago and he hasn’t eaten in almost three hours. I am trying not to freak out, but I am super worried about him. If we can’t get him to eat soon, we are going to have to go back to the ER. Flying home tomorrow is going to be awful.

Weird xmas

We are all sick with colds and I think this xmas is going to be a big blur in our memories. I am glad that Jack was somewhat lucid for the actual celebrations but now he is super sick! He is so hoarse that you can’t hear much when he cries. It’s so sad! I feel like crap, as well, but at least I don’t have a cough or rumbly chest or gunky eye.

This is the first xmas vacation where I’ve felt that the sooner it ends, the better. I just want to get my baby home.

A case of xmas (beware of side effects)

Happy holidays everyone! We are in snowy balmy Wisconsin and things have sure been interesting. Our travel to Sacramento was easy (although we got out a lot later than we originally intended) and my night with the SMACT girls was great (wonderful to hang with my girls!). Joe had a weird night with my family apparently, and I got home late so I didn’t get to save him from the awkwardness.

Our flight was bright and early Sunday morning but it went very smoothly and Jack was as congenial as ever! My SIL and BIL picked us up from the airport (my SIL cried when she held him for the first time), we ate a late lunch at Outback Steakhouse, and headed to the MIL’s for turkey dinner and present-opening (man, opening presents for your kid is a lot of work!). Lots of excitement, of course, although it was much busier than I expected from a rather small group. I played interference as much as possible with Jack but it seems that he still got overstimulated from his two cousins in his face all night, the chaos of gifts everywhere, and the travel fatigue. At 1am I woke up to the sound of Jack vomitting all over himself and the bed. I cleaned him up and handed him to Joe, where he promptly vomitted again all over Joe. Cleaned him up again, changed the sheets on the bed, rocked him back to sleep and before I even laid him down, he puked all over me and my side of the bed. Yikes – scary as hell to experience my baby vomitting for the first time! This time after cleaning him (and myself) up I just laid a towel down and slept on top of that rather than changing the sheets again. Off to sleep we went and had a rather uneventful night after that, thank goodness. Luckily he never had a fever or anything, and he acted totally normal today.

Speaking of today, we got a late start (Joe and I were so tired from the late night puke debacle) but still made it up to Jack’s great-grandma B’s only 30 minutes late. He promptly took a nap and stayed asleep while we opened presents. He did really well – most of the initial excitement over his arrival was dimmed and it was pretty laid back. We were there for about 3 hours before we left to head up to his great-grandma R’s…

I can’t even articulate how huge this gathering of family is except to say that it is exactly like a family reunion every year. Joe’s dad was one of 8, all of which married and most of which had children of their own. Some of their children have also had children. (Ugh, and in a couple of years, those children are going to be possibly having children!) Anyway, I warned everyone right off the bat that Jack had had a rough night and they respected that for the most part. I spent much of the day and night whisking him away into a private room to get him calm, cooled down, and rested. He didn’t fuss much but he would get so overwhelmed that he started breathing hard and his little heart was racing. Eek! It was not too bad considering all the people, though, and he came out unscathed (this is me hoping we won’t have another puking incident tonight). He got some nice gifts – the best of which was a large collage picture frame to depict his first holiday. The family spent a large majority of the evening taking group pictures to place in the frame (their original plan was to have Jack in every picture but I quickly gave that idea the axe – no way could he have handled all of that). The aunts are going to work on it this week and get it sent out to California. So sweet!

So, we survived Jack’s first xmas. I am particularly a little worse for wear – if lack of sleep and a sick baby weren’t enoguh, I had to drop some cash on a (third) breast pump to head off a case of mastitis. I neglected to bring my handy travel pump because I didn’t think I’d need it but my breasts are going nutso on me. I held out as long as I could but I knew I had to spent the $$ when I started experiencing nausea and shortness of breath on the way home from the Ritchie’s. But what winter celebration is complete without having a cold, getting puked on, and getting a nice breast malady on top of it?!

More I cannot say

I’m still feeling icky sicky but I’m in a fairly good mood after receiving a very nice, mushy e-mail from Joe this morning. He rocks my socks!

Jann and I are closing the office early today and we’re going to go see a movie. We can’t decide between Blood Diamond and The Good Shepherd (but we’re leaning toward TGS because it has Angelina Jolie). I am not truly excited about either of them but I like going to the movies.

We are heading down to Sacramento tomorrow. Tonight will be spent packing and getting things in order. We will probably have to take laundry with us to do at my mom’s before we fly out. What fun.

Jack didn’t want to bed easily last night so Joe brought him out into the living room and laid him on his stomach on the floor for some tummy time (and to help wear him out). The little guy immediately rolled over onto his back – the first time he has rolled over that way (previously it was always back to tummy). Earlier in the night I was also testing his sitting and standing skills. He can briefly sit up without support (before he reaches for something and topples over) and he can stand while holding onto the coffee table (until he reaches for something and topples over). Joe and I both think that he is going to skip crawling altogether and just go right for walking – a common theme in Joe’s family. By comparison, I didn’t walk until I was 13 months old. Yes, I’ve always hated exercise.

The beginnings of a hectic holiday

The Ritchie household is sick. We all have a cold. I feel like crap today, all stuffed up with a crazy sore throat. Jack slept most of the evening yesterday, which was nice because Joe’s friend came over for dinner. I am not looking forward to this evening when I have to take care of Jack by myself because Joe is watching a Packers game, though. I have so much crap to do. I MUST start packing. Traveling with a third person who can’t pack their own stuff or carry any of it is challenging. I wanted to leave town tomorrow night but I don’t think we’ll be ready.

I am nervous about this trip. We’re having a hard time dressing Jack weather-appropriately already (it’s been colder here than is normal) and now we’ll have to deal with below-freezing temperatures. In addition to that, we are going to have to be really watchful at xmas with the massive amount of Joe’s family so that Jack doesn’t get overstimulated and freaked out. I know everyone is going to want to hold him and I don’t think that will be possible (just to give you an idea, Joe’s dad had 7 siblings who all married; most of them had kids and some even have grandkids). My anxiety about this was further compounded by the news that my in-laws were “fighting” over who gets to pick us (Jack) up from the airport. I know everyeone is looking forward to meeting the little guy; I just hope they remember that Jack is a baby and can’t handle all the excitement.

Today is my boss’s last day. *sigh*

Give a little bit

Joe just dropped off my bi-weekly donation of breastmilk and the family handed him an envelope to give to me. Joe gave it to me and said, “Looks like you may have gotten what you asked for.” The other night, while watching television, there was a commercial for a local spa and I said, “I so need a massage!” Well, the family gave me a gift certificate good for a sauna-massage package! Yay!!!

Cold and wet

We went hiking in the redwoods today. I enjoyed myself at first and then got really irritated and panicked when we were about halfway through our hike because I thought we were 90% done (which is funny, really, because I went on the hike to help my depression and anxiety…). It was really cold and it was time for Jack to eat and I had to go to the bathroom. Joe and I have very different ideas about hiking and how long a hike should take. I was not prepared for an hour long hike in the cold.

At least we got a cute picture out of the day.

Other than hiking, I dominated the laundry. Five loads and fifteen dollars later, we have clean towels and Jack and I can stop running around naked. I also made dinner, a modified version of my MIL’s recipe for “Pizza Hotdish.” Maybe tomorrow we’ll get the apartment cleaned up, as well.

A little more PPD, a little less action

My mild depression has continued despite my efforts. Last night I had a hard time getting out of my funk, so Joe spent a good 10 minutes pretending to put a voodoo spell on me. Totally dorky but it made me laugh, at least. I feel like I’m having a hard time meeting my own expectations of a good wife and mother. I have stepped it up at work but still haven’t figured out the home thing. Splitting myself between Joe and Jack is not easy. I feel like I short change them both and because this is so unacceptable to me, I totally seize up. I know I have attachment issues and touch issues and this is all magnified when I am getting double the requests for love and attention. I am hoping to go back to counseling after the new year because I just can’t keep this up. It’s not fair to my family.

5 Months Old!

Jack is 5 months old today. Wow, time seriously flies. At the same time, it feels like it was a billion years ago that I gave birth to the little guy. A whole different life.

These days he is laughing up a storm. He loves it when we pretend to eat his hands or neck, give him raspberries on his tummy, and try to take things out of his hands. He giggles while petting the cat and loves to grab our hair, including Joe’s facial hair which seems to tickle his little hands and make him crack up. If Jack has a toy or a finger in his hand, he thinks it’s hilarious when we try to take it away from him. Every time he spots his feet, he must grab them and rock around on his back while playing with them. He pretty much loves everything, especially standing up. When we pull him up by his hands he automatically goes to standing. None of this sitting business! Although he can sit with support and loves his bumboseat.

Jack is huge. He is around 19 or 20 lbs. now and in 9-12 month clothing. This weekend we’ll be switching out carseats because he has outgrown his infant carrier seat.

Teething is a huge pain (literally) but Jack handles it well. He chews on everything (last night at a party he was chewing on an empty wine glass) and has a little bump on the bottom right where a tooth will probably emerge soon. He has been crankier lately and we have had to break out the Tylenol a few times. A very unfortunate side effect is him chewing on ME. Yikes.

Jack’s curiosity is at a peak right now. He wants to see everything that is going on, hear what everyone has to say, and examine anything within reach. He has surprised me a few times when I am holding something in my hand and he grabs my wrist to bring it closer – usually in an attempt to stick whatever I’m holding into his mouth.

Our little boy is so awesome to us and we can’t wait to see what he does next!

(Don’t) bring your kid to work day

Jack went to school with Joe yesterday because our daycare provider is sick again. He did really well and he and Joe had a great day. Today the little guy is at work with me. It’s working out just fine, except when he fake coughs because he thinks it’s funny. He’s been doing it for about 20 minutes now. It’s very annoying.

Okay, fast forward to 1pm. Jack is napping finally, yay! We got served a xmas dinner at work today. Very tasty. Everyone admired Jack and said how cute and well behaved he is. He’s got them all fooled.

After everyone’s nice comments about my glasses and seeing a good picture of me in them, I am feeling much better about them. I guess I’ll keep them.

We’re heading to the bay area this weekend! Can’t wait to see friends and family. Beth has promised me cake. So excited! Monday and Tuesday bring additional birthday celebrations. I am actually looking forward to my birthday this year!

Jackie is famous. Go see him in his adorable turquoise alpaca hat with ear flaps here. Jen is so talented!

Eclectic post

I am having a hard time getting used to these glasses, but perhaps it is because I am coming down with a cold or something. I can’t figure out if it’s the cold causing my vision to be all wonky or if it’s the glasses (maybe both?). I feel like I will never get used to wearing these things. My depth perception is totally off (I know that’s not related to the cold) and it’s bugging the hell out of me. I am trying to wear them more to get my eyes adjusted but it’s so distracting and uncomfortable!

While we were in Oregon Jack was pretty quiet, mostly watching and observing everything. As soon as we got home he became a regular Chatty Cathy! He has a whole new vocabulary and has been babbling non-stop with all of these new sounds. Crazy kid.

When my mom came to visit for Thanksgiving she brought my grandma’s Kohl’s credit card. My grandma wanted us to order xmas presents for Jack and charge it to her card. I felt really weird about it because 1) I have an intense dislike for my grandma (dislike is putting it nicely) and 2) she is freaking broke and always has been – she is on social security and lives in a trailer! Alas, my mom insisted and we charged like $80. So crazy. Jack got some new toys (a couple of stuffed animals and a couple of Lamaze texture/teething/learning toys) and clothes. Everything arrived this weekend and Jack has already gone to town gnawing and pounding his new toys. I suppose one must put aside their hang-ups for the joy of a child…that is, as long as it doesn’t harm the child (and my grandma just might!).

Joe is starting to apply for jobs. He is putting in his application for a general pool of forest service jobs first, which involves picking states where we would consider moving. So in that list are California (#1), Washington, Oregon, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and North Carolina. I told him to go ahead with a couple of those states and see what pops up. Most likely there won’t be anything in WI, MN, or NC that we would consider (since the parks are generally out in the boonies), but no harm in seeing what’s available. I can’t believe we could be moving in 6 months!

Jack might be coming down with whatever I have. He didn’t do so hot at daycare today and has been sleeping fitfully tonight so far. Illness is definitely one of the things that sucks about being a kid!

Oregon and Back Again

We had a great weekend (err, day) in Oregon. I left work early on Friday and we headed up to Jen’s. The drive wasn’t too bad, about 7.5 hours total including a stop for dinner. Jack did really well. We arrived about 10 and stayed up until around midnight chatting.

Saturday was a pretty easy going day for us. Joe took a walk in the morning while Jen and I ran to the grocery store and she started party preparations. Around 1 Joe and I went to lunch at Taste of India; they were having a buffet lunch but neither of us got a chance to go back for seconds because Jack started to fuss. Still, we got our fill and headed back for the party.

Jen did a great job for Andy’s first birthday. The food was tasty and the cake (a vegan pumpkin cake) was amazing. I may use that same recipe for Jack’s first birthday – it’s perfect for a kid just starting solids.

Jen & Me – we meet at last!

Jack & Andy saying hello the baby way

New friends (L to R: Katie & Otto, Jen & Andy, Jack & Me)

We left at about 8 and got home at 1:30 this morning. It’s sooooo much easier to make that drive when Jack is asleep.