I did some thinking last night and some internet reasearch and some talking to friends. I really think that Jack is having trouble with teething pain at daycare and I think he is looking to the DCP for comfort. I think she must not be providing whatever it is he needs. She has said he is inconsolable and I just can’t imagine that. I have only ever seen him throw a fit a few times – when he is tired, hungry, and not feeling well and it all hits him at once. So it seems to me that DCP is letting things go too far and then is not able to calm Jack, probably because her own issues at the moment are making it difficult to handle an infant. Even when things go too far and he gets super upset, Jack is pretty responsive to the five S’s (shhhing, sucking, shaking/swaying, swaddling, and side-lying).
I am going to talk to her today and see if I can’t get her to go through the 5 S’s, try the carrier (we have three so she can choose whichever one she feels most comfortable in), and use teething tablets or tylenol/ibuprofen. If she won’t try that, then I personally feel that she is not willing to work with Jack. She has a 2 week notice policy for discontinuance of care (which I feel that I don’t owe her if she is not willing to try my suggestions for calming Jack), so I am going to tell her that this is 2 weeks trial notice to see if things get better. I really think the situation will improve if she changes her attitude a bit and also when Jack’s tooth comes through (it is so close!).
I went over our expenses yesterday and figured out how much I’d be getting while on leave. We would be barely making it. And if I had to get a night job, it would be able the same with the paycut. So this is absolutely the last resort.
I still haven’t heard back from the SAHM I e-mailed but I have her telephone number and will give her a call. If she can’t take him, I can call around to some other people and I might even be able to get a nanny. That would be more expensive but would be less of a financial hardship than quitting my job. Also, our friend Melissa is thinking of quitting her job and might be able to take Jack. So, we will see. I’d like to exhaust every daycare effort before leaving my job.
I think I feel better today because Jack is home with Joe and I won’t be getting a phone call saying he’s inconsolable and that I need to pick him up. Plus, my boss is leaving at 12 so maybe I’ll actually get some work done. I am so behind and I have made some horrible errors at work (like, cost the company money errors). I think I’m out of the running for employee of the year.
Edited to add: I refuse to give the DCP the OK to just let him cry. It is common human decency to give comfort, especially to a young baby who has no idea why he’s having such a hard time.