Holiday Recap

Sorry I’ve been gone so long, folks!  It’s been a busy holiday with lots of visitors.  All of our guests are gone now and it’s back to our regularly scheduled programming!  I’ve still got to get all of our pictures up on shutterfly, so stay tuned for that.  For now, here’s a summary of the past week.

My sister and her husband came to visit.  We had lots of good food (Italian, German, Indian) and really enjoyed spending time together.  Jack is madly in love with his aunt and uncle and we can’t wait to visit them in Maryland in the spring.

Our holiday was busy yet relaxed.  We saw my grandparents on Christmas Eve.  They brought Jack a wonderful gift – a fifty year old child-sized rocking chair that used to belong to my great aunt.  A fabulous family heirloom that my grandfather shined up for Jack.  It was wonderfully thoughtful!  We all went out to dinner and it was the best time I’ve ever had with my grandparents!

Christmas day we had breakfast at my mom’s.  Jack played dominos and then took a walk with Aunt Holly and Uncle Mike.  We then went to my uncle’s house for dinner, games, and presents – something I haven’t done in about 10 years.  It was wonderful introducing Jack to everyone and catching up with the family!

We had Christmas dinner with my sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and niece.  The kids were set up on the couch and we got some lovely snapshots of them together.  It really completed the day to see Jack giving his cousin kisses!

Joe’s parents arrived on the 26th and we had our holiday celebration brunch on the 27th at the rec room in our apartment building.  This was my first attempt at entertaining family (I even cooked!) and I think I pulled it off fairly well.  We had a relaxed rest of the week and Jack was giving his grandparents hugs and kisses and even called them “Gama” and “Papa” which was just great!

There were also a couple days in there where I got to see my friends Beth and Jenn.  I will see them both again (separately) today!

I have some interesting updates to post regarding food but I will save that for tomorrow.  I am just so happy to report that the holiday went well and will be remembered fondly.  Best of all: we don’t have loads of toys to get rid of because most people gave Jack books and clothes.   Yay!

Some days are frustrating

The last two days have been basically napless.  That’s probably all I need to say to the other folks out there to whom naps are sacred (ya know, other parents), so I won’t go into annoying detail.  Suffice it to say that I’ve had friends and family in town and I’d love to spend time with them but Jack doesn’t make it entirely easy to do the things I’d like to do.  Juggling a busy holiday social calendar with a cranky kid is…difficult.

I’ve managed to enjoy myself for the most part, in between Jack’s tantrums, but I am exhausted and it will be a bit of a miracle if I can sustain enough energy to get through Christmas.

But I’m happy to have my sister here.

And Jack is pretty awesome when he’s not being a little punk.

Happy holidays everyone!  I’ll be back in a few days…

Santa Claus has come to town

The way I survive the working day is to NOT THINK about Jack.  Harden my heart and all that, ya know?  But it’s extremely hard when Santa is here and everyone (except me) has brought their kids in to see him!  Giggles and cries and Daddy! and Mommy! and all of those little voices floating to my ears.  They all suddenly sound like Jack and I miss him so much!

It doesn’t help that I saw him only briefly yesterday when I nursed him to sleep before departing for the ballet.  Oh, and a few times during the night when he sat upright in bed and said “hello!” before nursing a bit and then saying “night night!” and laying down again.

As if that wasn’t enough, Santa is usurping the Mom’s Room to change in and out of costume.  I understand that Santa has needs, but why is the bathroom not sufficient?  A mama’s gotta pump, especially when said mama has a rather painful plugged duct!

Tips and Tricks for Oversupply

It seems as if I’m treading territory that is not well documented with regard to my oversupply of breastmilk.  Everything is trial and error because the how-tos of breastfeeding are not written with oversupply in mind.  Since I’ve seen quite a few oversupply searches land on my page, I figured I’d throw out some things I’ve learned about oversupply while I battle yet another plugged duct that is trying to turn into mastitis.  Most of this is contained in this wonderful article by LLL but I have added my own experience in, as well.

How NOT to get oversupply:

• Don’t switch breasts too often (i.e. finish the first breast); some moms only ever nurse on one breast per feeding
• Don’t routinely pump in addition to breastfeeding (thereby creating a demand that is bigger than what your baby actually needs), especially in the early days when you are establishing supply.  If you need relief from engorgement, pump the minimum amount possible to relieve the pressure without emptying the breasts (which sends the signal to make more milk).
• Know what real undersupply looks like, and don’t be proactive about trying to build your milk supply with supplements (fenugreek, etc.)

What oversupply can look like:

• Typically starts after 3-6 weeks 
• A fast letdown with spraying milk, many times resulting in baby gulping noisily or even choking during a feed (you’ll want to keep towels handy to mop up milk dribbles)
• Breasts are engorged often, and leaking is a real problem (washable breast pads won’t do, and you’ll be changing disposables a couple times a day)
• Baby’s stools are green, runny, explosive, mucousy, and/or foamy and baby is very gassy
• Baby nurses constantly and is fussy between feedings (this is totally normal during a growth spurt, but if paired with other symptoms on this list or lasting for weeks, you should suspect oversupply.  Baby nurses more often not only because he gets a large portion of foremilk which digests more quickly, but also because he seeks comfort for resulting indigestion.)
• Baby latches shallowly due to the engorged breast, or chomps down to deal with the heavy flow of milk, resulting in sore nipples
• Baby latches on and off, fussing at the breast (especially worse in the morning)
• Baby has an outrageous number of diapers (for the first few months of Jack’s life, we went through 18+ a day)
• Baby gains a lot of weight rapidly (Jack gained 1.5 lbs within 10 days of leaving the hospital and the weight gain didn’t slow until after he was 6 months old - he was in the 85th percentile for weight)
• A lack of comfort nursing, or baby gets angry when attempting to comfort nurse (as he can’t help but get milk)

Things not to do if you have oversupply:

• Don’t take galactogogues or hot showers
• Don’t pump extra (if you pump at work, try shortening sessions rather than skipping them)
• Don’t skip feedings or pumping sessions (you will so regret it!)
• Don’t switch breasts when baby pops off – offer the same breast again (especially if you can squeeze milk out!) and if baby refuses, he’s probably done eating
• Don’t make sudden schedule changes with pumping or nursing – your breasts may need an especially long time to adjust to less demand
• Don’t pump when you can nurse directly – the baby is going to be more efficient at getting the milk out, which will result in less plugged ducts

How to handle oversupply:

• block feed (I only offered one breast for any feedings in a 4-6 hour period, then switched.  If one breast gets too uncomfortable, pump only until letdown to relieve the pressure.)
• nurse uphill (let gravity help slow the flow of milk)
• burp frequently (even if baby gets pissed when you unlatch him)
• unlatch baby when you letdown so that you can catch the overflow of milk in a towel
• if extreme, use cabbage compresses
• be prepared for a cranky baby once you get your supply adjusted down, as often they get used to a faster flow (this is when Jack started a semi-strike, right around four months, and it lasted for quite some time)

Anyone have anything to add?

Jack in film

By request, here is a Jack video where he is enjoying the swing at the park.  I have other videos I’d love to share but it takes me 30 minutes to upload a 30 second video!

And here is the tree hugging photo!

More signs we’re immersed in toddlerhood

What we see in a typical day with Jack: 

• Climbing, everywhere, everything, all the time!  Not just climbing, but also running and bouncing on furniture, and a general show of pride at being up HIGH.
• Copying everything we do – gestures, words, eating, hugging trees (yes, Joe really does hug trees).  He has started mooching off of our plates, showing more interest in food when we are eating it!
• Social interaction.  It’s not enough to wave and say hi to everyone around him, he must get a response.  He will keep waving, keeping saying hello until the person responds.   You can imagine our restaurant experience.  Generally he is looking everywhere but at us, engaging with the other restaurant patrons.
• Displays of affection, or of anger.  When I walked in the door after work yesterday his entire countenance lit up!  He waved, shouted HEY! and bounced up and down.  He ran over to hug me and giggled.  What a welcome!  The opposite, of course, occurs when I deny him something he hits me or anything within proximity.  I am becoming a master at redirection (Let’s read a book!) during his tantrums.
• Talk of bodily functions.  He has definitely started to notice bathroom behavior, and when I mention pee or poop, he contemplates the question and either sticks his hand down his diaper or strains a bit as if he is testing to see if he has to go.  This behavior seemingly came out of nowhere; perhaps toilet training is in our near future (which is a bit terrifying, ’cause I know nothing about how to toilet train a kid!).  He also pretends to blow his nose, something he learned a week and a half ago when I had a cold.

Altogether, at 17 months, Jack is definitely his own person.  He is constantly in motion, testing his environment and the people in it.  He is fun, he is aggravating, and he is always interesting!

Kid Birthdays

Prior to Jack’s first birthday, I had this idea that kid birthdays were boring and our non-parent friends wouldn’t want to come.  It’s not that kid birthdays were boring to me, just that I am aware I am in this parenting bubble where everything my kid does is uber interesting.  I know that others might not share my interest.  Then Jack’s birthday came, and our small apartment was packed with people, most of whom were kidless.  It was readily apparent that they were having a great time, and everyone was extremely excited to see Jack’s reaction to the gift they had picked out for him.  It was wonderful watching Jack enjoy his special day, and I will always have this memory of celebrating with all of the people who love Jack and had been there for us at various times during his first year of life.  Suffice it to say, I was surprised at the enormity that is the first birthday.

Last night we attended a birthday party for my boss’s 2 year old daughter.  I did not hesitate in accepting the invitation because now I know that kid birthday parties are fantastic!  After acquiring a small gift for the birthday girl (the book The Gift of Nothing* because the invitation said no gifts** and I am ever so clever), we drove into San Francisco, the city welcoming us with festive lights strung across the Bay Bridge and around the buildings downtown.

The party was just as wonderful as I thought it would be.  There were toddlers everywhere, and they were highly entertained by the mylar helium-filled balloons shaped like dogs, with feet weighted to the floor.  I picked one up and barked at Jack.  He was startled at first, and then he giggled uproariously.  He begged for more and chased the dogs all night.  He also had a great time playing with the birthday girl’s toys.  It was a whole new world for him, drawing on the easel with crayons, shaking maracas, and pounding on the toy piano.  Gotta love going to other people’s homes to test out toys!

My boss dressed up as Santa an hour into the party to hand out gifts to all of the kids.  The kids were terrified!  One little girl kept repeating, “No more Santa!” over and over for the rest of the night.  Jack was mostly ambivalent but as soon as we got near Santa to get his present, he started crying.  We quickly got his gift, a book, and redirected his attention by reading it.  I felt for the kids, I really did, but it was also amusing to watch them freak out over a big guy with a white beard and red clothing.  Only two of the kids (who were decidedly older than the others) out of ten enjoyed Santa.  Poor kids!  And poor Santa!

Jack’s second birthday is seven months away, so presumably I have a lot of time to plan, but with as much time as it takes to do anything these days and as fast as time is flying, I want to start thinking about this now!  (Have I mentioned I’m a planner?)  There is so much to be done!  With that in mind, I’d love to hear your best (cheap, practical, yet creative) ideas for kid birthday parties.  I open the floor to you, dear readers!

* Do you know about Patrick McDonnell’s books yet?  I had to resist buying them for every kid I know!  I bought Hug Time for Jack but want them all.
** I did check with her parents first to make sure it was okay to get a book.

Good Toddler/Bad Toddler

We’ve had the full spectrum of toddler behavior today.  It’s been rather trying.

The good:

• Practicing using a spoon, which is endlessly entertaining (he often gets “essence” of whatever is in the bowl and exclaims “Mmm!”)
• Twirling around in circles
• Dangling the cat toy for Blue
• Running around like a crazy man
• Wrestling with mom
• 3 hour nap

The bad:

• Awake at 7:30a and obviously still tired
• Crawling under the baby gate (it is raised to allow the cats to get through)
• Refusing most foods, preferring “mil!” (and cow’s milk will not do!)
• Climbing and running on furniture
• Squirming while nursing
• Pulling mom’s sleeve
• Self-destructing in 60 seconds flat because he is tired or hungry or doesn’t want to sit still

It’s a good thing he’s awfully cute:

Listy

I never thought I’d:

• Co-sleep (totally fell into that one, and I’m glad!)
• Get excited about diapers (cloth will do that to ya if you are a lover of fabric)
• Yell (I do my best to hold it in, but when the kid smacks me right in the face, I sometimes lose my temper)
• Give my son a pacifier

I’m proud of myself for:

• sticking with cloth diapers, despite the naysayers
• having a somewhat natural labor (while I did consent to induction, I managed to forgo pain meds) despite the naysayers
• breastfeeding for 17 months and counting, despite the many problems we encountered
• pumping at work for 15+ months (which will hopefully be over in a few short weeks), although I didn’t find this too difficult – it ended up being a great time to get reading in
• going against the norm and not circumcising my son
• using the pacifier only sparsely (and we haven’t used one for about a year now)
• educating myself on foods, particularly allergenics, so as to avoid nuts, chocolate, etc. in my <2 yo (especially since food issues run in my husband’s family, and because Jack already has a pea allergy)
• keeping Jack’s baby book up-to-date
• sticking to my ideals
• limiting television (I would get rid of the tv if it was only up to me), especially Baby Einstein

Things I aim to be better at:

• scrutinizing vaccinations (we will say no to the chicken pox and flu vaccines, but I need to understand the vaccine debate better in general)
• cooking more meals from scratch
• attending more play dates
• figuring out how to get Jack to sit still long enough to get his nails clipped regularly
• getting more “me” time
• emergency preparedness (I still have to get a will together, and acquire a first aid kit; I am scheduled to learn CPR next week)
• saying no to gifts that don’t fit in with our gender neutrality and no sports rules (unfortunately there is the little voice in my head that tells me I’m being ungrateful, but I would rather seem ungrateful than compromise on what I feel is best for my child) – I manage to say no about 80% of the time but sometimes I let things slide when I shouldn’t
• improving the parenting partnership with my husband

The Grandparent Dynamic

Becoming a parent is weird in many ways.  One of the weirdest, in my opinion, has to be the dynamic with the older generation – i.e. our own parents.  Some grandparents seem to take it all in stride and hand over the parenting reigns, while others seemingly don’t know how to step out of the role of caregiver, and they may even try to expand it.

I have noticed these growing pains emerging during big events.  Either when a new baby is born into the family, or when the stress of holidays rolls around.  Perhaps it has nothing to do with events at all, and it’s really about a difference of opinion or practice that becomes more pronounced during these events.

What do you think, readers?  What makes some grandparents bow out of the parenting game gracefully, while others get more aggressive?  Anyone have insight?  I am particularly curious as to what makes a person step in with the attitude of “I know better than you what is best for your kid.”  For instance, perhaps you have a “no plastic” rule and the grandparent buys a plastic toy for the child even knowing the rule is in place.  What is the thought process that goes on?  Also, is there a way to counteract this behavior?

I am frustrated by this type of behavior.  Suggestions I can handle, and questions are great.  I never mind explaining the reasoning behind our decisions.  I do find it difficult responding to blatant disregard for our wishes, though.  I don’t want to cause rifts – I would rather solve the problem.  So I am bowing down right now to those who have weathered this transition before me, and I ask for your help in making the transition in my own life (and in the lives of other new parents) less painful!

Happy birthday to me

Today is my birthday (I’m officially in my late 20s now), so Joe brought Jack into the city to have lunch with me.  When we returned to my office after lunch, a bouquet of chocolate dipped fruit was waiting for me.  I have been pigging out ever since (what can be better than chocolate dipped strawberries??).  The wonderful card accompanying the arrangement reads:

I hope you feel special on your very special day.  You mean the world to us!  Merry birthday from your loving husband and son, Joseph and Jack.

I’m feeling very special indeed!

Our Seattle Trip

This weekend Jack and I flew to Seattle to see my friend Beth.  I had some frequent flyer miles to use up by the end of the year, and tomorrow is my birthday, so I figured a trip was in order.  We had a great time, and the flight with a toddler wasn’t as difficult as I feared it might be, thank goodness!  The key seemed to be getting a window seat in the “economy plus” row which offers more legroom (actually, more room for Jack to sit on the floor and play) and being blocked in by strangers.  I only had to tell Jack no once and then he would look up at our neighbors and just shake his head every time his little body would forget and start going in that direction.  It worked pretty well, and we had very nice neighbors!  Jack was quite entertained looking out the windows, too.  We had two so he spent time leaping between them to compare the views.  We only had a brief moment where Jack threw a fit, which occured when I had to coral him to board the plane.  A nice forbidden object – car keys – quickly quelled the tantrum.

I should also mention the car seat rental!  I did not reserve a seat for Jack and I did not feel like hauling a car seat with me since I was traveling without Joe, so Beth helped me locate a company that rents out baby gear.  The company delivered a Britax car seat directly to Beth’s door and will pick it up, as well.  Super easy, very affordable, and definitely the way to go!

We bundled up on Friday and headed to the Woodland Park Zoo.  It was fantastic (and huge)!  Since everyone else in the city was at work or in school, we nearly had the place to ourselves.  We got our fill of all of the animals, and really enjoyed our time.  The best part was the night room, which was totally dark and contained porcupines, armadillos, sloths, giant bats, and other nocturnal animals that a person doesn’t normally get to see.  Super cool!  Jack was highly entertained by all of the animals and prolifically used his new phrase of appreciation, “Bow ta dow!”

It snowed a bit during our trip but it was a very pretty dusting that didn’t cause any problems.  The kind of snow I like!  Jack and I sat by the back doors and watched the snow for almost an hour on Sunday.  There are some feral cats that hang out under Beth’s shed in her backyard, so Jack was quite entertained by them chasing one another and sliding on the snow-covered surfaces.

Next time I will have to be more prepared for Jack-bundling.  The fleece hat and gloves I got from Old Navy did very little to keep Jack warm, and I didn’t pack his BabyLegs because I could only find one.  Additionally, sweat pants would have been a better option than jeans.  For some reason I just didn’t expect it to get as cold as it did.We made it home safe and sound last night.  I lucked out and had exactly the right amount of diapers for Jack.  I feel much more confident now about traveling with a toddler, too.  That is perhaps the best birthday present of all!

What is Jack doing lately?

When Jack turned one I stopped doing the monthly updates.  I have noticed a similar phenomenon around the internet – as soon as the blogger’s kid becomes a toddler, there is a lack of updates.  I wondered about this for a long time and then it became a reality for me, as well.  Toddlers are BUSY!  They are always moving, and they really demand attention (with words!).  And as soon as I sit down in front of the computer Jack’s little hand reaches up and pounds on the keys.  He loves the computer as much as I do!

So I must apologize to my readers for not sharing more in the way of developmental milestones with Jack.  It’s basically more of the same, but more intense.  The number of new words Jack says every day is astonishing.  I can no longer keep track of what he knows in that department.  He understands even more; when we ask him to get a specific book to read, more times than not he knows what we’re asking.  He is starting to learn his colors, as well.  It seems there are a lot of things he would pick up very quickly if we thought to teach those things to him.  I am starting to understand why some kids start preschool so early.

Our struggles right now are sleep and food.  As always.  Aren’t those two things the bain of every parent’s existence?  Sleep is actually not that bad; it’s just different.  He knows when it’s bed time but he’s still trying to figure out the best way to get to sleep.  Nursing doesn’t work most nights anymore, so bedtime is now a team effort.  This usually means we go through our bedtime routine (nighttime diaper, pjs, toothbrushing, sometimes a book), nurse a bit, and then if he is not falling asleep with me Joe steps in to lay down with him until Jack squirms himself to sleep.  The whole process from start to finish is probably 45 minutes or so.  Not too bad.  Things have been a bit interrupted by some canine’s coming in, but it’s still better than the first year of his life.  Of course, the 18 month sleep regression is around the corner.  Perhaps this chaotic sleep is an indication that it has already started, or perhaps things are about to get much, much worse.

As far as food goes, I have gotten in the habit of offering food often and I don’t get bent out of shape if Jack refuses.  Joe is having more trouble with this, and I am frustrated by that.  Right now the internal struggle is: do I just do it myself (preparing food, writing “instructions”), or do I push Joe to figure it out?  I am unsure how to approach this without causing some hurt feelings.  Changes do have to be made, though, because Jack and I are ready to move away from the breastmilk reliance.

Next week is the last week Jack is at his current daycare.  We decided to wait it out rather than switching Jack for a few short weeks, and it hasn’t been too bad since various life happenings have resulted in only 1-2 days per week there.  There are moments when I really want to throttle the daycare provider (like the day Jack was sent home with damp clothes from a milk spill that she didn’t even notice and he stank of sour milk – she is freaking oblivious!) but with only a few days left until Joe’s seasonal furlough, the end is in sight.  Then we start the process all over again with a new, and hopefully better, situation in February.

I haven’t read a parenting book in quite a while.  I am walking blindly forward and for once I’m not completely freaked out by that (I really like the toddler phase!).  Anyone want to clue me in on what I can look forward to in the coming months?  Or suggest a nice book for toddler rearing?

[Lastly - I am off to Seattle in a few hours for the weekend.  You may not hear from me until next week!]

I succumbed

Here’s what we ended up with (located in our dry bar, about 1.5′ tall):

Jack tried to help (um, he’s hanging a gift bag on the knob):

The full effect (click for bigger):

Grinch

All of a sudden I have this wacky desire to do the whole xmas bit.  This has never happened to be me before!  I am not a xmas person!  I don’t like the whole, “we cut down a tree to put up for a month and then decorate the hell out of it, shove a bunch of decorated boxes containing stuff no one really needs under it, and drive ourselves crazy over the holiday stress” thing.  I don’t like santa, never have, and I hate being the center of attention when opening a gift, mostly because I hate pretending I like something that is purely crap and ‘thank you’ never seems to be enough for the stuff I do like.  I’m not a good gift receiver (as you can plainly tell).

How did I suddenly get here?  Well, I wrapped the gifts we bought for our Wisconsin niece and nephew this weekend and then realized I had nowhere to put them.  I am shipping them, so it’s not a big deal, but I got a strong urge to put up a tree under which we would store the gifts until they take a trip to the post office.  I resisted the urge but it continued to plague me until one night I came home from work and spit out, “I want to put up a tree!”  And my husband gave me a bewildered look and said he was okay with that.  Then I went on my merry way, reminiscing over the wooden ornaments from my childhood that are stored away and waiting for fresh air.

Next up: stockings.  Stockings are stupid!  They contain a bunch useless crap that just gets tossed in the trash!  I mean, sometimes you get useful stuff like toothbrushes (who doesn’t need a new one?) and lotion but really – no one needs another pair of snowflake socks.  NO ONE.  But ya know what?  I kinda want stockings even if they have nothing in them.  I’m off to etsy to find a stocking for Jack, at least.

The craziness ends there, at least.  I can’t think of any other traditional xmas things that I really want.  Okay, well, I DID buy some egg nog, and I also have apple cider in the fridge.   But at least those count as food…

I think I am just really sad that we aren’t going to Wisconsin this year.  First time in 9 years or so!

I’m typically kind of a grinch, but one who has apparently just been possessed by holiday spirit…