Ready, Set, Potty

We are very suddenly potty training. Well, training isn’t really the word. On Sunday Jack came to me and announced that he wanted to use the potty. I pulled out the Baby Bjorn potty, pulled his pants and diaper down, and read him a book about peeing and pooping while he did both on the potty. It was surprisingly easy. We clapped and were proud!

Monday night the same thing happened, so yesterday I sent Jack to daycare armed with pull-ups training pants. He used the potty five times! I had only one item to put in the laundry yesterday and that was a pair of cloth training pants. Yay! Last night he did not want to use the potty, but this morning at daycare he couldn’t take his eyes off the potty. Funny kid.

I am amused by this turn of events. Mostly I think it’s interesting that I didn’t have to do much at all – that Jack told me when he was ready to use the potty. I love it when things just fall into place like this; I’m a huge fan of parenting along the path of least resistance!

Not always sunshine and lollipops

Jack slept terribly last night perhaps due to nightmares?  It’s hard to say but he cried out in his sleep without actually waking up.  I stumbled to his room and lay down with him for a bit and he was fine.  Who knows, maybe he was just cold (he refuses to sleep with a blanket).

This morning, he woke up cranky as heck.  He yelled for me at the top of his lungs (getting louder the longer I took to drag myself out of bed).  When I went into his room, he told me he needed to snuggle and take a nap.  I told him it was time to get up and he started crying (well, more like whining as there were no real tears).  He walked over to his bedroom door and tried to shut it several times, slamming it against the frame because he neglected to turn the knob.  When I helped him out he was upset and made me open it again so he could do it.  Then he decided he DIDN’T want it closed – instead he wanted to look for his rocket in the dining room.  He cried that he didn’t want to stand in front of the heater to get warm when I huddled next to it and even went so far as to insist that I take my sweatshirt off (crying when I refused).  I was able to get a shirt and socks on him, but then he didn’t want to wear “that diaper” and would not wear shoes or sandals.  Furthermore, he got upset when my cell phone was referred to something other than a spaceship, did not and then DID want friendship bread, didn’t want to go outside or to daycare this morning, freaked about not having his cup of milk on the way to daycare and then asked over and over again where his friendship bread went (“Dude, you ate it!  It went into your belly!”)…this all in the span of about 45 minutes.

Needless to say, it’s days like this that make me insanely happy that I work.  Now if I just had a sleeping bag with me…

Multiple personalities

A lot of parents worry that their children won’t do XYZ when they go to daycare because of how they do things at home.  I’ve heard (and sometimes shared) concerns about sleeping and eating habits.  But here is the reality: kids are better behaved at daycare.  I don’t know if it’s the herd mentality or the fact that at home he feels the need to assert his independence, but it’s pretty amazing the things Jack will do at daycare without any fuss at all.

• At home Jack runs from me when it’s diaper changing time, but at daycare he will lay down when the other kids are getting diapers changed and demand that his be changed, as well, wet or not!
• Jack fights sleep at home (unless he is *really* tired) and has very strict policies about being in his bed with only a sheet covering him.  Also, Mom must lay down with him and we can’t forget to read at least three books.  At daycare, he will ask to take a nap and lay down on the floor with toys clutched to his chest.  He rarely sleeps less than 2 hours and no snuggling or reading is necessary.
• Many a day Jack has bemoaned going to daycare, claiming that he does not want to see his friends, and then when we get there he lights up and runs off to play without giving me a second thought.
• Shoes are always a struggle.  You may all remember that I had to buy the same exact style of See Kai Run shoes in the next size up and hide the fact that they were new from Jack.  I have many other pairs of shoes for Jack, as well, which he will not wear at home but will wear at daycare.
• Jack favors cucumbers and apples and cheese at home.  At daycare he prefers corn and carrots and pasta.
• When I dance or sing at home he tells me to stop with a glare.  At daycare he is the star of the dancing/singing show!

What can you add?

Another Crazy Daycare Story

The move to San Francisco went really smoothly and for the most part we are settled into our new house and routine.  I think we did a great job of unpacking and making the place ours because Jack didn’t even seem to notice we moved. 

The only major adjustment issue was daycare (OF COURSE!).  The new place did not work out nearly as well as I had hoped and the whole situation has left me a little bewildered.  I thought I had completed the due diligence but I guess there is only so much you can tell about a person in an hour…I did not foresee that F, the provider, would want to be paid under the table or that I would pick Jack up after 8 hours and see that he had only had one diaper change all day.  I got really worried during week three when I noticed he was not settling in and still cried when I dropped him off, not to mention a lack of napping during those three weeks (he napped a total of three times, never more than 30 minutes).  I dropped him off shaking one day (I cried on the way to work) and the next day she handed my check back to me and asked for tuition in cash.  Between the shaking that I couldn’t get over and the request for cash, I decided to search for a new daycare.  That is when I saw that despite telling me in the initial interview that Jack would take the last daycare spot, F was advertising on craigslist that she had two more spots open.  SHEESH.

The next day I visited two daycares, both located within five minutes of our new location.  The second daycare, run by G, was one I had nearly visited the first time around but didn’t because I didn’t hear from the provider until after I enrolled Jack at F‘s.  G‘s place was AMAZING and Jack ran around the entire time playing and even interacted with her, trusting her enough to hand her the rocket he built.  Two days later I gave our 2 weeks notice to F and asked for a partial refund on tuition for that month (which I needed because the new place was twice the cost).

Fast foward to five days later…I was running late and called F to ask if it was okay to bring Jack later than usual.  The line was disconnected.  Yikes.  No way was I going to drop Jack off there when I couldn’t get in touch with her, especially after everything else that had happened.  Jack stayed home with David that day and I called G to ask if Jack could start right away.  She said yes and Jack started the next day (last Thursday).  He took a two hour nap that first day and also the next.  He hasn’t been clinging to me in the evenings when I pick him up – instead he hides behind a curtain hoping to stay at daycare but is still content when I drag him out the door.  Huge difference!  Not only that, but because he is happier, I am happier and not filled with anxiety every morning.

As for F, I emailed her and she did call me and said she didn’t know what was going on with her phone but promised to call me that night.  I was not surprised when she didn’t call.  I could ask for my money back again but I doubt I’d get it.  I am sucking it up – the $1700 total cost of daycare for March.  It’s really hard, but I am doing it.  The new place is expensive (about $500 more than what I was paying in Alameda) but worth every freaking penny.  It’s huge, the provider and other kids are wonderful, the provider is extremely organized and in the last four years of running her daycare has never taken a sick day, they take trips to the park nearly every day, and her sister runs a daycare right next door.  Big bonus – it is only 5 minutes away from our house.

I’m hopeful, so very hopeful, that this is the last daycare I ever enroll my child in.  That poor child has been in the care of WAY too many providers in his 2.5 years.  I am glad the stories I have to tell aren’t full of real horror (thankfully Jack has never been in danger), but the bad daycare experiences have been way too many in number.  If the good experiences weren’t so amazing, I would have thought more about being a welfare mom a long time ago!

New Daycare

I took Jack to his new daycare yesterday and he immediately started playing and having a great time.  I stayed for about 15 minutes just to make sure all was well and then departed.  He had a fabulous day and when I picked him up he was happy as a clam.  He told his daycare provider he would see her again tomorrow and gave her a hug!  We chatted all the way home about the fun he had and his new friends Flavia and Javier.  It was really the perfect first day.

Today was a different story.  Even though he had a good night’s sleep he woke up in a snit and wouldn’t get dressed again.  It took me an hour and a half to get him ready and in the car and he was crying and throwing a fit about wanting to stay home.  I suspected today’s drop-off would be hard (since he knows what’s going on now) but this was pretty awful.  I felt terrible for him but also upset for myself because I was beyond late for work.  Jack clung to me when we arrived at daycare so of course now I am feeling awfully guilty.

I know he is fine (I have checked up on him).  He always calms down soon after I leave and the daycare transition typically takes about 2 weeks.  Until he settles in, though, I will feel like I’m abandoning my baby every day to go to a job that I don’t even like.  Alas, if only I was independently wealthy!

Moving to the city

We are moving and moving means changing daycares…  Yeah, I know; you don’t have to say it.  I know I’m crazy!  But, really, this is going to be an awesome change for us.  It will mean that I won’t be spending time on commuting an hour to get to the daycare before it closes (at 5!) when I should be working a full 8 hour day.  Also, a shorter commute (half of what it is now) means more time with Jack.  Our rent will be less and we’ll have a washer and dryer in the house.  We will have a backyard where Jack can run around!  We’ll have lots of families for neighbors.  We’ll live about a block from a park.  Best of all, I think, is that the time we spend driving to San Rafael to get Jack to Joe will be 15 minutes each way instead of 45-60!  Woo hoo!

I looked at daycares last week and hit the freaking jackpot.  The first place I visited was decent, but it didn’t feel like THE PLACE.  It was small, a bit pricey, and brand new (meaning Jack would be the first kid enrolled).   The provider was sweet and the place would have worked, but I didn’t like it as much as I like his current daycare.  I went into the second place with low expectations because all I know about the place was that it was extremely affordable and a little further than I thought I’d want to go.  But the drive to the place was a breeze and as soon as I walked in I felt at ease.  The provider is Brazilian, just as his current providers are.  She also has a similar menu and schedule as the current daycare.  Jack will get to continue his Portuguese education!  The number of kids in her care is small and she has a helper doing dishes and cooking meals, so the attention factor is high.  The vibe was perfect, so I took the spot and we went back Saturday to introduce Jack to the provider.  That went well, so the deal was sealed!

So far this move is coming together nicely.  This is the easiest time I’ve ever had finding a place we will love to live and also a daycare that we will be happy with (I am of course hoping that a similar environment and a warm-up period will make for an easier transition).  I think the most amazing part is that we are moving into the CITY and yet our rent and daycare costs will decrease.

I’m excited!

More than Words

Jack has been speaking in sentences for months but for the most part they were either two word sentences or copied from Joe or me (“Ca’have please?”).  Recently he has started to use pronouns, adjectives, and he has been changing words out of his standard vocabulary to suit different situations.  “I like it” became “I want it” and then evolved to “I want other side please.”  This weekend as we were driving around Humboldt, he pointed out the window and said “Trees!  Tall trees!  I like trees!”  He has also figured out that the opposite of more is “no more.”  Witnessing his growing understanding of language is fascinating.  We are there to supply the tools but his mind is doing all the work of figuring out how to use them.  We are constantly being surprised by his language skills.

I believe I have mentioned that Jack’s daycare providers are Brazilian and speak both English and Portuguese to the kids.  Jack is quickly learning all kinds of words that Joe and I are clueless about (since we know only limited amounts of Spanish and French, and no Portuguese!).  Luckily Jack is starting to ask for things in multiple languages to make sure he gets his point across.  It totally cracked me up the first time I heard him ask for “mais” when I didn’t provide the response he was looking for to “more.”

Daycare Transition Revisited

Daycare is going so well now.  Jack is firmly settled in and each morning when we drop him off he dashes out of our arms to play with the other kids.  He no longer even says goodbye!  Two days ago we got an opportunity to observe everyone on their way to the park and Jack’s face was totally lit up.  It was so wonderful to see.

Of course I feel a little twinge when he completely forgets about me the moment the providers open their front door, but mostly I am just thrilled that we have found such wonderful people to care for our son while we’re at work.  He is clearly thriving and this transition has really shown me that my feelings about the previous daycare were spot on.  This experience has taught me that I *do* have instincts.  Thank goodness I listened to them!

And even though he doesn’t say goodbye, he is always ecstatic to see us when we pick him up. 

Closer to Two

Jack is 20 months old today.  As I mentioned to Joe last weekend, he is closer to 2 than to 1.  Where has the time gone?  How did our baby get to be so big?  Will I be sending him off to college tomorrow?

Two weeks to the day after starting daycare, Jack has adapted.  Joe dropped him off with no crying yesterday!  Yay!

Last night as I was attempting to nurse him to sleep, he unlatched and laid his head on my chest, whispering “green yellow green yellow” before latching on again.  It was so cute and endearing.  His brain is obviously hard at work trying to figure out colors.  It’s so interesting to witness this stage of development, when he is caught between babyhood and childhood.  And I feel caught, too; I want him to learn new things and grow but I still sometimes wish we could stay in these moments longer.

We all were in bed by 9 last night.  Jack awoke once and we fell back asleep while nursing.  I woke up not too long after and laid him down before looking at the clock to see how much more sleep I could get before the alarm was set to go off.  It was 7am!  I certainly wasn’t expecting that Jack had slept through the night but apparently he did.  I’ve never had such mixed feelings about getting a full night’s rest.  I really needed more sleep!  In any case, I am happy that he seems to be going back to his pre-sleep regression habits and that we weathered the time change without too much fuss.

I’m over here trying to relax

Sorry I didn’t post yesterday!  I was just plain lazy, I think.  I am also fighting off a cold that doesn’t want to go away.  It is all in my chest and it’s bugging the heck out of me.

Jack’s training potty arrived yesterday and I set it up in the bathroom.  He thought it was interesting and enjoyed playing with it but he was not sure what the heck I was trying to do when I sat him on it.  I didn’t expect he would sit right on it and go, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to introduce the idea.  I realized I need to get some diapers that are more conducive to potty learning.  Right now we mostly use FuzziBunz but Jack cannot undo the snaps (which is usually a good thing) and they pull down well without unsnapping.  Anyone have any ideas?  I think I’ll also get a book for him to read about going to the potty.  Not my favorite subject to read about, but Jack loves the book learnin’.

Daycare seems to be going well.  Drop-off is getting easier and Jack is always happy when we pick him up.  He eats well (he loves beans, apparently) and sleeps well there.  He has started learning some Portuguese and even some sign language (his favorite word these days is “more” and he can say it in English, Portuguese, and sign).  The last two days he has played in the sand box, so he comes home covered in sand.  I am not totally happy with that but I know he is having fun.  (It’s just so difficult to get sand out of his hair!)  After all the trouble we went through with finding good daycare, it’s such a relief to have something great that is right down the street.  Yesterday we strolled home in the sunshine.  The only thing is that now we can’t ever move!

Overall things are pretty mellow right now and I’m loving it.  With all the ups and downs over the last year, it’s nice to sit back and relax a bit until the next wave of activity begins.

One of those mornings

The last two nights Jack has slept pretty poorly, and then this morning was kind of a disaster.  Joe is working on the peninsula today and tomorrow, which means an early departure and the morning drop-off is left to me.  Last night Jack went to bed late and he didn’t take it well when I woke him up at 7:15 this morning (bedtime was close to 10pm last night!).  He cried, thrashed while I tried to dress him, and said “No!” over and over when I put his shoes on.  No way was I able to get a coat on him.  He did cheer up a bit when his monkey puppet (which he only took a liking to when Curious George came into his life) hugged and “hoo hoo ha ha’ed” at  him, so I was able to get him out of the door and down the hall to the elevator.

As I was waiting for the elevator that goes to the garage and holding Jack, I felt warmth spread against my hip and his jeans under my hand grew damp (apparently a Swaddlebees can’t hold a toddler’s first morning pee despite the hemp insert, either that or it was wicking which does not bear thinking!).  I quickly set him down so that his diaper didn’t leak all over my work clothes, but had no time to run back to the apartment to change him because I was on a tight schedule to catch my carpool.  Off to daycare we went, and I had to once again wrestle to get him out of the wet diaper and pants and into a fresh set, all while he was thrashing and crying because he knew I’d soon be leaving him.  I was completely shaken by the time I bolted out the door to get to the carpool meeting place because I freak when I can’t soothe my baby’s crying.  Thank goodness his daycare providers are so good with him and completely understanding of rough transitions!

Coincidentally, the carpool was running a tad late.  At least I got time to settle my nerves.

So yeah, it was one of those mornings…generally I try to let Jack wake up on his own and I allow plenty of time for nursing and breakfast because he tends to be in a better mood when those things occur prior to daycare drop-off.  None of that was happening this morning, though.  *sigh*

I’m sure this is some kind of milestone

Last night, for the first time ever, Jack favored solid food over nursing!  He had only been nursing for about 5 minutes after I got home from work when Joe pulled out the Pirate’s Booty…Jack yanked my shirt down, said bye-bye, and ran to beg for some snacks.  I was shocked!  Cheese puffs favored over breastmilk?  He got a few while I prepared a more wholesome dinner.

Then, this morning, I was running late to catch my bus and Jack woke up before I got out the door.  He decided he wanted to take his sweet time at my breast (even taking the second side!).  “Joe, get the yogurt raisins,” I requested.  As soon as Jack saw the package, he flew off my lap, nursing forgotten.

Not only that, but he drank a significant amount of cow’s milk at daycare yesterday.  This is the first time he has taken milk of any type while away from me in months.  Could an end to breastfeeding be in sight?

Daycare transition

Trasitioning to a new daycare is tough.  It doesn’t matter how great the daycare is.  In the early days it was easier but only because Jack couldn’t communicate and slept a lot more.  He nursed a lot after I picked him up but that was it.  These days, not only does he nurse more but he is extremely emotional and has to be in constant contact with Joe or me when we get home.

Last night we got nothing done.  Jack threw several tantrums when:

• I put the stroller away when he wanted to climb on it
• we made him lay still while I changed his diaper
• I set him down because he wouldn’t stop wiggling on my lap
• I tried to keep him in bed to go to sleep
• Joe put his new markers (the magic kind that only color on special paper – thanks, Grandma Darla!) away because he was sucking on the tip

Those are the only ones I can remember but I am sure there were more.  Jack has this nasty habit of banging his head when he is tired or upset and he did it several times last night, leaving a red mark on his forehead.  In reading my child development book I learned that this is not uncommon and most head-bangers have increased sensitivity, musical ability, and even intelligence.  Weird!

We went to bed at 9 last night (although I tried to get Jack in bed multiple times before that because he was obviously exhausted).  Our apartment is a mess, we still haven’t unpacked, and we are dangerously close to running out of clean diapers but it sure felt good to go to sleep early.

So, the new daycare transition is going as well as can be expected.  The first day was rough, with Jack crying a bit and refusing to eat anything other than goldfish crackers, but the second day went much more smoothly with smiles and more eating.  The boy loves corn apparently (at home he only plays with it).  He managed to nap well both days so far, as well.

I’m really hoping that we can stay with this daycare for years.  This is Jack’s fifth daycare in 18 months and it surely has been an emotional roller coaster.  I have my fingers crossed that this is the last transition he has to make until preschool, at least.

New Daycare Anxiety

Jack started his new daycare today.  I left for work before he was even awake, and Joe dropped him off.  I have been guarding my cell phone all day in case something were to go wrong but it’s been silent.  I know I can call and check to see how he is doing, but I have always resisted doing that.  I think it’s my own peculiar way of staying focused on work at work (uh, blogging aside) so that I don’t miss him so much during the day.

I wish I were the one picking Jack up today!  I am dying to hear what/how he ate, whether he napped, and if he cried when Joe left.  I want to know that everything was just fine so that I can relax and stop worrying that maybe we’ll have to find another daycare!  There is no reason to think that this one won’t be great but we have been burned so many times that it’s hard not to worry.  I am counting down the time until I get home to see my little boy!

(Full update tomorrow on our trip.  It went very smoothly!)

Settled

Joe interviewed a daycare provider on Friday and called me (which is amazing in itself because he never calls me) at work to tell me how ecstatic he was.  He was downright bubbly!  He emphatically told the daycare YES with the caveat that I would also have to meet them and approve of the place.

The providers were kind enough to meet with us on Saturday afternoon and we spent a good hour there talking and touring the house.  I was very much at ease and the daycare provider answered most of my questions before I even asked them.  Jack did not hesitate to play with all of the toys and interacted with the providers and their son as if he had known them for years.

The location is fabulous – right down the street from our apartment and along my bus route.  The providers are a Brazilian couple who emigrated here twenty years ago.  They started the daycare so that they could stay home with their two sons who are now 9 and 3.  Portuguese and English are spoken in the home, so Jack will learn a little bit of a second language.  Not only is the food home-cooked and focused on vegetables and non-meat sources of protein, but a weekly menu is posted for the parents to see.  That may sound not sound like anything amazing but I am a person who craves details!

It is absolutely settled.  Jack has daycare!  I am so excited for him to get to know these wonderful people and be in their care.  He will love it because they are going to care for him just as we would.  That is all I ever wanted.